Welcome Party Written By: Jonathan Green & Gabe Miller Directed By: David Rogers Transcribed By: Admin Fake Jim: Morning, Dwight Dwight: Who are you? Fake Jim: Who am I? I’m Jim. We’ve been working together for twelve years. Weird joke, Dwight. Dwight: You’re not Jim. Jim’s not Asian. Fake Jim: You seriously never noticed? Hey, […]
Author: theoffive
Season 09 Episode 02
Roy’s Wedding Written By: Allison Silverman Directed By: Matt Sohn Transcribed By: Admin Pam: [surveying an untidy office] The building’s custodian is on vacation for the month and Dwight is too cheap to hire a replacement. So, instead, we’re living in filth. But, not for long. Because I have created the chore wheel. Kevin: [viewing […]
Season 09 Episode 01
New Guys Written By: Greg Daniels Directed By: Greg Daniels Transcribed By: Admin Erin: Andy’s coming back today! Andy’s coming back today! Ha! Andy’s coming back today. David Wallace sent him on an outward-bound wilderness adventure for a whole month to make him more decisive and confident. He sent his own son too. And the […]
Season 08 Episode 24
Free Family Portrait Studio Written By: B.J. Novak Directed By: B.J. Novak Transcribed By: Admin Oscar: [to webcam] Hello. My name’s Oscar. I’m an accountant in Scranton, Pennsylvania and I’m gay. And I’m here to tell you that yes–it does get better. When I was younger, um– Phyllis: What’s he doing? Dwight: He’s searching out […]
Season 08 Episode 23
Turf War Written By: Warren Lieberstein & Halsted Sullivan Directed By: Daniel Chun Transcribed By: Admin Gabe: Ugh, man. My delts are blasted. I wish they had a chart for how much protein powder to scoop for a 180-pound man with no fat. Dwight: Protein powder, huh? You cut it with water? Why don’t you […]
Season 08 Episode 22
Fundraiser Written By: Owen Ellickson Directed By: David Rogers Transcribed By: Admin Ryan: [pacing back and forth] No, no, no, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no. Pam: Okay fine. Ryan, something the matter? Ryan: Smokey’s dead. Pam: Smokey, the bear? Ryan: Smokey Robinson, Pam. He died like an hour ago, I […]
Season 08 Episode 20
Welcome Party Written By: Steve Hely Directed By: Ed Helms Transcribed By: Admin Pam: Hey Jim. Stanley’s back from the hospital today. Can you sign his card? Jim: Oh, great. [reads] “Glad they didn’t mix up your tonsillectomy with a moustachectomy.” Oh, that’s not good. Phyllis: Oh, because your jokes are all hilarious. Pam: It’s […]
Season 08 Episode 21
Angry Andy Written By: Justin Spitzer Directed By: Claire Scanlon Transcribed By: Admin Phyllis: Whoo! Wow, it is raining cats and dogs out there. Holy moley. Jim: Phyllis says the same twelve cliches every time it rains. So, I promised everyone that if she says them all by noon today, I will send out for […]
Season 08 Episode 19
Get the Girl Written By: Charlie Grandy Directed By: Rainn Wilson Transcribed By: Admin Pam: [telephone ringing] This is Pam. Oh, my God, are you sure? Uh, okay. Okay, um, we’ll be right there. Everybody, the balloon is falling. Kevin: Nice. Pam: There’s this balloon that has been floating in the rafters of the warehouse […]
Season 08 Episode 18
Last Day In Florida Written By: Robert Padnick Directed By: Matt Sohn Transcribed By: Admin Andy: [exiting office] Everyone stop what you’re doing, I have terrible news. Dwight is no longer with us. Everyone: [gasps] What?! Why is that? Andy: He’s gone, damn it! He’s been promoted to VP of Sabre Retail and he’s staying […]